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Jet Band
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6

At Middlebury university, we lived a life that is double.

At first glance, I happened to be effective. I became surrounded by diverse, intellectual buddies. We led a student that is popular and ended up being mixed up in arts and athletics. We adored learning and made Phi Beta Kappa my junior year. I’m additionally a white, straight, cisgendered feminine. If you’re reasoning, “Please. Your ass that is privileged has to complain about, ” you’re right.

But my interior life ended up being characterized by paralyzing anxiety and despair. We judged myself harshly, to your point of disgust. I drove myself to extreme exercise and near-anorexia. We felt this method as a result of men—or thus I thought.

While there clearly was an important gulf between my general public self and my personal one, the single thing that stayed constant had been my politics. We told myself that I happened to be a feminist, despite subjecting myself to unfulfilling, emotionally harmful intimate experiences. And it was believed by me, too.

I experienced a puppy-love relationship with my school that is high boyfriend the type the truth is in films. Losing my virginity had been a respectful and experience that is patient. Entering university, I wasn’t inexperienced or scarred. I became confident I’d find Matt 2.0.

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© 2011 // The Jet Band // Музыкальный проект Стаса Родионова